What happy couples do well? 10 tips found surprisingly quirky relationship to help you have a happy marriage or relationship
Pretend you just met.
If you’ve been together for six months or six years, spend a little time each day acting as if you just started dating. Ask him what he thought of that episode of TV or share what you would do if you won the lottery. “Over time, couples continue asking exploratory, get-to-know-you questions because they think they already understand each other,” says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author of 5 Simple Steps to take your marriage good to excellent. But because we all continue to change and develop, small daily check-ins like this are what keep the growing connection, according to research by Orbuch of 373 pairs. Chat about anything besides Daily Grind-at least for a while.
Nurture your friends’ relationships.
It is possible to divorce-proof your account. According to investigators, the breakdown of the marriage of close pal increases your chances of splitting up to 75 percent. “Some people may see the divorce of others, such as permission to change their own lives,” says study coauthor Rose McDermott, Ph.D. But when you encourage friends to be together (happily), you can generate reasons also apply to your voucher.
Burn bras (together).
Forget flowers-feminism is the new romance, experts from Rutgers University in New Jersey say. Women whose male partner is a feminist report better quality of the relationship, while men with feminist couples experience greater sexual satisfaction and relationship stability. “A feminist male partner can increase a woman’s ability to realize their own goals and career ambitions,” says study author Laurie Rudman, Ph.D. “And the male feminists are probably not threatened by efforts of his partner.” In addition, these women may be more likely to initiate sex, and no man complain about that.
Don’t win an Oscar.
That is unless you want to thank the Academy for ruining your relationship. A winner for Best Actress is 63 percent more likely to have an end marriage before their class mates do, researchers at Carnegie Mellon University and the University of Toronto say. (And it’s not an honor to be nominated either :. Sixty percent of all candidates, male or female, experience at least one divorce after getting a nod) Although the rate of rupture may seem silly celebrity the findings can talk to an underlying social norm: the sudden success of one side can put a strain on a romantic partnership. “The increase in the divorce rate may be due to the discomfort of a successful husband of his wife,” says study author Colleen Stuart, Ph.D. “On the other hand, the wife may grow dissatisfied with their current marital arrangement because you now have the confidence and the opportunity to walk away from a bad relationship.” Try to stay a couple of power: To promote and celebrate the successes of others, large and small.
According to a survey of 100,000 people OkCupid.com, avid tweeters tend to have shorter relationships-10 percent shorter, middle-than those who do not microblog. “Keep your eyes glued to the screen of the phone is not exactly conducive to romance,” says Hatt. Make sure your tendency to technology (tweets, texts and other) does not occupy time better spent in participating in the communication from heart to heart with your guy.
Hold a grudge (as long as he doesn’t).
Provided that your partner is able to recover from leggings, you will experience greater satisfaction, even if you tend to stay PO’d, according to new research. The mark of a good recovery: Do not allow conflicts on a subject, for example, the money-to spread to other areas of your relationship, and how they help each other after a hard day, says the author Jessica E. Salvatore study, Ph.D., of the University of Minnesota. A yin yang his produce harmony.
Control the boozing.
Any relationship will be shaken and stirred by excess alcohol, but research suggests that young adults who drink heavily (meaning four or more drinks on one occasion for women, five or more for boys) are less likely to married in the first place and may be at greater risk of early separation if they do. Partyers may be more likely to have commitment issues to begin with, and once you pair your bonds may be unstable. “If you’ll be in a solid intimate association, you will need all the good judgment and compassion you can muster,” says Hatt. Which means keeping the drink in check.
Be beauty to his beast.
Coupling with an average Joe (with a beer belly) may be the key to long-term love. According to a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, when men married sexiest women seemed more likely to step up to the plate says study author Benjamin R. Karney, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California at Los Angeles. “But when husbands were better looking, seemed so committed to helping their wives to reach your goals.” (Size matters too. When women had a BMI below her boyfriend, both partners tend to be more satisfied, according to other research) The real secret of success? Support. Whether it is motivated by a beautiful face or some other quality, couples are more likely to enjoy long-term happiness when they are invested in the welfare of others.
Limit the chick flicks.
If Ashton Kutcher Jennifer Aniston and regularly appear in your living room, the union could be in the danger zone. “Romantic comedies can create unreasonable expectations, which can lead to unnecessary suffering,” says Sean Patrick Hatt, Ph.D., a psychologist in Seattle. “By comparing themselves with other idealized is a recipe for misery.” Sure, rom-com can feel good and escapes, but can also promote magical thinking about relationships. For example, as companies mature and the initial intensity tends to disappear, many couples try to recover the euphoria that had initially said Hatt. “And that kind of thinking is only enhanced by Hollywood endings” he adds. Stocking your Netflix queue? Treat romantic comedies like, well, candy.
Twist the sheets at least once a week.
The average American is filled about two or three times a month, but increased their romps weekly generates so much happiness as scoring an extra $ 50,000 in revenue, according to researchers at Dartmouth College and the University of Warwick in England . Not so much the sex itself that leads to happiness; frequency is a better marker for a successful relationship. “Couples who love each other end up in bed more often,” says study author Andrew J. Oswald, Ph.D. “And is the hobby-each-other hand it increases the joy.” But really, who needs a reason? Bank’s booty.