Our dating blogger counts all the ways that the struggle is oh so real.
It has been a while since I’ve been in a relationship of those things. You know, that thing where you have a guy who loves you, who together with you all the time, and with whom you have (good) consisting sex? I would not say I changed for the worse (in fact, I learned a lot about myself, what I want and what I definitely do not), but being a single girl in New York for the past three years has made me develop a slightly irrational fears. Or, a lot of them.
But I know I’m not the only one having nightmares about being attacked in my sleep by the nonexistent cat I do not own or my boobs to yield to my knees before I ever get the chance that someone will really appreciate. Straight?
Welp, if you’re like me, you might be able to relate to these individual struggles lady who made those little stupid irrational fears rear their ugly heads. But do not panic-we are in this together, and we are certainly strong enough to handle the situation:
1. When Your Friend Asks You to Be a Bridesmaid
The invitation arrives and you quickly realize that you have all of two months to find out if you are going to bring a guest. Can you bring someone you barely know? Do your friends hate you for the rando in photos of memories? Or should you wait until the last possible second to see if you’re dating someone semi-serious then? It may come at the last minute not eating!
2. Randomly Fearing That Your DIY Décor Will Somehow Kill You
I have this beautiful photo collage on my wall in my room (thank you, Pinterest!) I hung up the use of these ingenious 3M hooks. I think it looks fine, but sturdy? Eh. Some of them have fallen while I was at work. And I’d be lying if I did not wonder if they will actually be my complete disappearance. I can see the headline in the New York Post now: 26-Year-Old Single Girl crushed by Marcos because I have a boyfriend to hang with proper tools!
3. Not Having a Consistently Good Sex Partner
I’m not going to lie, it’s been quite some time since I’ve done the deed. I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily waiting for a boyfriend, but I am waiting until I think the sex would actually be good. As much as I wish the handsome stranger at the bar a block from my apartment would be a rockstar in bed, the truth is, he probably can’t get it up. (And I probably wouldn’t be able to relax enough to orgasm with him anyway.)
4. Always Having Leftovers
Cooking for one isn’t really a thing—or, at least, it’s hard to if you’re a girl from the South where every portion was enough for two small children and your cousin. No matter how little I try to make, I always have to put some of it in the fridge. And then, of course, I forget about it and throw it out a week later.
5. Getting Super Bored When You’re Snuggled Up On a Rainy Saturday
FOMO? How about Fear of Doing Absolutely Nothing? I try to keep myself as busy as I can between running, fitness classes, events with friends, freelancing, and working so I don’t have a spare minute to sit in my living room, eating popcorn, drinking wine and crying over Sleepless in Seattle. Not that I’ve done that before or anything. Nope.
6. Hearing Humblebrags from Your Coupled-Up Friends
I know the grass is always greener, but sometimes it’s hard to hear your friend complain about their seemingly perfect husband or boyfriend or whatever. I’m sorry to hear you’re aching for a weekend of non-stop sex and its beautiful roses bought one is dying. So sorry to hear, really.
7. Constantly Worrying About Becoming the Bitter Single
You do not want to be that person—that person is sad and annoying. Alright, I retract everything I said in the previous paragraph. I’m happy for them. Truly. Really. Promise.
8. So. Many. First. Dates.
Yes, to meet someone, you should continue to put yourself out there, which is part of the deal. But having gone on many dates that all blend into one frustrated mess of lipstick, text messages of anger, and hangovers, go on another date is enough to give you the heebie jeebies.
9. Going Over Your Data Every Month (Thanks Tinder)
Between my Starbucks app, Spotify, and all of my dating apps, it’s hard to make it through a few hours without my iPhone biting the dust. But, come on, what better way to multitask while waiting in line or zoning out in a meeting than to see if my next boyfriend is online? It can be productive…and expensive.
10. Making Up Imaginary Futures With Random People On the Street
Once upon a time there was a very handsome guy with blue eyes, who was passing through the light at the same time I did. We locked eyes. We walk the same direction. We looked at each other again. He smiled. I started imagining what his first words to me would be where we would get married, where we were honeymooners, how I would be in bed. And then he left. Just like that.
11. Wondering if You’ll EVER Find The One
The doozy, right? It seems like if you’re past a certain age or if the majority of your close friends are in relationships and you still haven’t met someone you want to see past date two (or get naked with) in months, you wonder if you’ll be alone forever.
Okay, being a single girl anywhere, not just in New York is very difficult at times. Much stronger than you think you need to keep appointments and keep hoping that you’ll meet someone special. But again, there are some things I really like about being only 26-years old: the freedom to do what I want in my spare time (such as drinking wine and eating popcorn while watching Gilmore Girls for four hours ), the ability to use my savings to make a really awesome trip abroad regardless else, the opportunity to have those butterflies that are totally real and definitely worth the wait.
Do not worry, there will be a day for me (and for you!) Where we will see again in these individual days and we wonder why we care so much flying solo, but I also hope we will look back and smile at those experiences, those years of being alone, you are truly lucky enough to have.