Packing bigger than a B cup can come with some unpleasant consequences.
1. You have a better shot at winning the lottery than finding a button-down shirt that doesn’t gap.
2. Your boobs try to escape any time you bend over.
3. Department stores don’t have your bra size in stock. Like, ever.
4. Since stores don’t carry your size, you have to order all your bras online—and said bras are usually expensive, enormous, and hideous.
5. You look kind of slutty in anything fitted.
6. …But you look kind of fat in anything that doesn’t have a waist.
7. You can’t really go braless, not even in bed.
8. Most workouts require multiple sports bras.
9. Sideboob is not a trendy fashion choice, it’s a way of life.
10. Like unicorns and Camelot, direct eye contact is mythical.
11. When bras that work for other women meet your boobs, they somehow become about as supportive as Saran Wrap.
12. …And of course your boyfriend is an ass man.
13. You’re seriously concerned about your boobs getting even bigger when it’s time to breastfeed (even though you’re single and have no plans to get pregnant any time soon).
14. Speaking of babies…they instinctively go for your goods.
15. Smaller-breasted women think you have it made and secretly hate you.
16. Good posture makes you look aggressive and plastic.
17. No matter what the rest of your body looks like, you are automatically labeled curvy. But hey, at least you’re in pretty good company.