They’re smart, funny, and adorable, but are you a good match?
One of the best foundation for a healthy and happy (and sex life) relationship is having a strong bond. Because if you think about it, be with someone who is willing to watch a Twilight marathon with you on a rainy Saturday is as important as being with someone you have sex with during all the boring parts.
And experts agree. “If you know someone and have chemistry right away, but not build a friendship, that passion will end because there is nothing to support it,” says relationship expert Jane Greer Ph.D., author of What about me? Stop Selfishness from ruining your relationship.
But what if the situation is reversed? You can go out with a guy or a girl and you’re taste to be a good idea? Well, that depends on the friend. Starting a relationship with someone you trust and have things in common, and care can create a solid relationship for the long term, but there needs to be an attraction here too. On the other hand, its super-hot friend may not be the best person for the long term if they have a long streak of sleeping with girls and never call again. So how can you tell if something should explore with a friend? Here are seven things to consider:
They binge-seen Orange is the New Black with you when you have the flu on Cinco de Mayo.
Tequila and taco-fueled celebration to be with you miss while you are out of action definitely goes beyond the call of duty friendship. If they often make the effort (and sacrifices) to be there for you when you really need them, showing a side of protection and care that can mean you are interested in more, says Greer.
His family loves you (and that the feeling is mutual).
If it’s no surprise to get an invitation to the summer meeting of his family, this man could be a keeper. “When you’re dating someone, how you get along with your family is so important because it will always be there,” says relationship expert Wendy Walsh Ph.D., author of Love 30-day detox. The same is true for your family, if you never stop to ask what your partner is doing, it’s fair to say that already approved. And as much as I hate to admit it, your family can sometimes see what is best for you, even before you can.
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You’re both totally obsessed with your savings accounts.
Regardless of how much money either of you actually have in the bank, which has similar values in saving, spending, family and other lifestyle goals is so important, says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D. and author of Finding Love Again: 6 Easy Steps to a new and happy relationship. These are the best things that break people, she says, so that a solid friendship can sometimes be the best precursor to love-you already have the basis of similarities and shared values.
You let him dog sit when you’re out of town.
That his French bulldog was not cheap and is now the love of her life, so she would not trust anyone. If you let your friend hang with the puppy while on vacay, which is a good sign that you already have confidence in them. “Trust is the most important part of a relationship,” says Walsh. So while his friend-bet rescues plans more than half the time and “forgot” to help move probably would not be the right match for you, someone you really trust can be a great fit for some. Also, when a person is not willing to make someone else needs a priority, it is a sign that they are not material enough relationship, says Orbuch. But if you already know you can trust them, that’s a solid foundation for a long-term and permanent dog sitter (saying).
He knows when you are not wearing sweatpants.
Although it does not really matter who you look like a giant pillow in her sweats, if you notice when a pair of jeans rocks, and mentioned, it could be boyfriend material. We need to hear the claim in relationships so we can feel special, noticed, and care, says Orbuch. However, this does not necessarily mean he wants out of the friend zone says Orbuch. You should also keep an ear to him talk about his future, specifically the future including you. For example, if he says you look amazing in that dress and you should take him to six months after the wedding of her sister from now on, there is a good chance that he is in you.
Those friendly hugs are starting to linger a little longer.
If your maximum five good nights has become a hug goodnight hug and that is getting progressively longer, there may be some chemistry between the two. If you’ve ever had a crush on them or are just starting to realize that they are a trap, feeling the emotion and desire is a big part of it is being in love is all about, says Greer. So, why did she (or both) just giving subtle clues? It could be for fear of rejection or risk losing a friendship, says Orbuch. So keep an eye out for signs of poachers body language, as if constantly catches your eye in a crowd or playing bass back for more than a few seconds. And if you are casting their usual flirting signals-playing with her hair around her or touching her arm-your body may be trying to tell you something too, says Orbuch.
You vent about their love lives with each other-and they are almost always agree.
When you have the same view about relationships, it shows that you share similar values and want the same things in a society, says Greer. So if you normally have your back when you vent about problems-and vice versa-dating it could mean that you have the same expectations for a relationship. On the other hand, if you are constantly thinking, “How could I be such a flake after sleeping with a girl?” and he always says that you jump into things too quickly; are probably not on the same page. That said, you may not want to discard them quite yet, says Orbuch. It could mean that he is not alone in this stage of his life even when he is ready to commit, or has not found a woman who wants to commit.
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