I say it with tough love: CrossFitters are an interesting breed. If you have been a CrossFitter for a month or five years, chances are you’ve found yourself the victim of at least some of these peculiarities, which are the signs of a true “CrossFitaholic.”
1. You stay up past your bedtime just to see the WOD for the next day.
Also, you experience WOD-induced insomnia if the website isn’t updated regularly.
2. You get a little preachy about Paleo.
And you blissfully ignore anyone who says cavemen never ate pancakes made of honey, almond flour, and coconut milk.
3. You casually wear T-shirts that make outrageous claims like “I’ve got the best snatch in town.”
Why did we ever believe this was a good idea?
4. You check 10 CrossFit websites before beginning work.
Don’t ask me why, but knowing the MobilityWOD, GymnasticsWOD, EnduraceWOD, and Crossfit.com WOD makes you better at your job.
5. You find true enjoyment in watching other people exercise.
This especially goes for competitive exercising. Few things bring you more joy than the CrossFit Games.
6. You openly embrace new community trends without regard to what they are.
Progenex, Inov8, Rehband … you’ll figure it all out eventually.
7. You are guilty of posting at least one burpee-related meme on social media.
And you excitedly comment on friends’ burpee related memes on social media.
8. You get nervous before workouts.
I don’t know anyone who sits in their basement with butterflies before starting P90X or going for a jog. But show me a thruster ladder and I’m about ready to throw up.
9. You have taken a photo, posted a photo, and shared a photo of your ripped hand.
Chances are it was bloody, chalky, and unwashed.
10. You’ve been known to film or photograph your own workouts.
It’s a strange phenomenon that has swept the CrossFit nation. Never have I seen someone pull out a camera at Equinox to film herself on the elliptical.
11. You overuse the word beast.
Male or female, if you can rep out some muscle-ups and throw around some weight, get ready to have this as your new nickname along with 75% of the CrossFit community.
12. You’r proud that a protein shake is your “treat” of the day.
Go buy a chocolate milkshake from McDonald’s and then tell me again how much your protein tastes like a milkshake.
13. You practice Olympic lifting technique with broomsticks or other household items.
Or you make handstand push-up attempts in the hallways of your home.
14. Subconsciously, you make a WOD of any mundane task.
Grocery shopping for time anyone?
15. You relentlessly attempt to recruit all of your friends and family into CrossFit.
Heck, you try and recruit anyone you meet! As a result you completely understand why people refer to us as a cult.
16. While traveling, you complete 100 burpees for time in the small space between the hotel bed and the wall.
Either that or you do “Karen” using a pillowcase full of clothes as a medicine ball.
17. You get upset when you DON’T get sore from a workout.
Did it even count?
18. When Open Season comes around, you’re a ball of anxiety for five weeks.
Yet, right when its over, you can’t wait for next year.