People have affairs for many reasons, not all of them unhealthy.
The term “adultery” (sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his legal spouse) is considered pejorative, because virtually all religions condemn. In some cultures it is punishable by death, and even in areas of liberal thought legal punishment can be imposed.
Most European countries, however, have decriminalized adultery. It is no longer considered a crime in most of the European Union and in some regions is very common. Moreover, people in Britain and the United States still generally expect the total sexual fidelity of their spouses. Sex outside of marriage in these cultures is seen by most as a sordid if not sinful.
But in American and British culture, many people suffer from marital myths.
For example, many want to believe that in a good marriage, the thrills and chills of a romantic courtship only intensify with time. They think that a good marriage will fulfill all your dreams. In fact, the ecstasy of courtship and honeymoon stage fades before the close of day. Those who regard marriage as a romantic interlude soon end in divorce not as romantic.
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Marriage is a practical and serious relationship which can provide a mature and deep love, friendship and care. But even a more discreet affair weaken, if not destroy this link?
Obviously, our values and expectations play an important role in the response to this question. Those who insist that your spouse remain sexually faithful even in a sexless marriage will be called essentially “trap” if you discover that your partner is having or has had, a discreet relationship, often resulting in extreme conflict and severe emotional distress. Many claim that a couple should strive for transparency and total honesty, but apparently this does not work well for many couples.
There is something to say about couples who manage to live happily in the pockets of others, they develop a deep sense of privacy, no secrets, and to agree that the matters to be absolutely prohibited. But while some people may be psychologically and physiologically attuned to this type of a monogamous relationship, it is likely that they are in the minority. Therefore, it is not surprising that divorce rates in the United States and Britain are extremely high. In fact, it has been estimated that in the course of their marriage, 50% of American couples have extramarital relationships-a figure that is set to the divorce rate.
Many falsely believe that any happily married man would ever have sex outside of his marriage, and that no woman could jeopardize a happy marriage sexually involved with another man. For these thinkers, the issue is proof that there is something missing in the marriage. Indeed, people engage in extramarital affairs for a variety of reasons, some of which are due to marital problems, or personal distress.
While some husbands or wives sexually frustrated others may find they can not get from their spouses, a disparity in the sex drive is just one of the reasons why people commit adultery. Others might include the manic phase of bipolar depression (during which people often engage in extramarital sex largely as a feature of their illness), and hypersexuality as a component of some control compulsive disorders and / or pulse. Even in a sexually satisfying and fulfilling marriage, significant personal insecurity about their own attractiveness or skill can drive some people to have sex outside of his house.
And then there are the many women and men whose extramarital implications are merely an expression of curiosity, personal growth, or the manifestation of a variety available. What’s more, in some cases, a person may rationally choose to seek sexual outlets outside of marriage as an alternative to seeking a divorce of a couple-sexually incompatible is often complicated, costly and traumatic, especially when young children are part image.
In other words, there are two healthy and unhealthy reasons for having extramarital affairs.
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Ironically, in some cases, a marriage can be strengthened by an affair. Like some people who have nonfatal heart attack can actually be in better heart health several years later than they were before-through weight loss, stop smoking cigarettes, eating better and exercising -some marriages “survive” a case may be in better shape after than before. In these cases, personal problems and marital problems that led to the adventure can be removed and worked through, often in therapy, resulting in better health and marital sexual satisfaction in the post-adventure was.
The conclusion is:
- Not all marriages in which a spouse has an affair is a bad marriage and not all people who remain sexually faithful are in happy marriages.
- There are many reasons why people have sex outside of marriage-and not all of them are healthy.
- In cases where marital problems lead to an adventure, or significant personal problems are corrected, the marriage may actually be stronger after the affair than it was before.
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