All teach us that lying is wrong. About anything. Ever. Of course, then we lie. We lie about how high we are (high heels). We lie about our hair color (highlights, dye, anyone?). We even lie about how we feel (“What?” “Nothing,” which is impossible as if nothing happened we’d be dead and therefore not live, so it is clearly something going on that-I lost, haven ‘t I?) sometimes lie just to spend the day (“I’ll work later”) and sometimes we lie because we can not afford now to something and would rather deal with it later (“I can not talk about this right now “). Then there are times when we lie to make other people better about themselves sit (“You look great in that bow tie!”) And others where we lie to make us feel better (“I’m just going to have a piece of cake and then I’m going to cut sugar from my diet forever. “) So it’s all clear,” No “rule lie that is drilled into us by society and sometimes our families, it is more of a guideline. Except when it comes to sex?
Almost everyone will say that you should not lie when it comes to sex. I mean, things just get dangerous, right? If someone says they are clean, but a week later they find out who has contracted chlamydia, it’s a pretty unforgivable thing to do to a person. Right? So there is absolutely no merit to lie about their sexual health. But it’s okay to lie about their sexual history?
Being a virgin can bring a lot of emotional vulnerability. And the older you are, the more time that virginity remains intact, embarrassed, ashamed or embarrassed many people become not lost. Now, I’m talking about people who are not VIRGIN OF YOUR CHOICE. If you’ve chosen to save yourself, then it might be a bit of a different emotional situation. Her virginity was not always the result of rejection of others.
When I got to college my V card, used to joke that I was a virgin by choice, but not my choice. I would make that joke every time the subject came up because I was ashamed. I never lied about my virginity. Even when I could drink legally yet all the alcohol in the world could not help me lose my virgin facilitated. I was so ashamed of being a virgin 21 year old man who looked really looking to acquire the services of a sex worker. And my therapist was really willing to help me do this. Then came the fateful night.
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We were friends. He had just broken up with her boyfriend. I came to be a shoulder to mourn. That’s it! I swear. He had given up any shred of hope that this amazing woman in my life would be sexually attracted to me (probably the kind of attitude that kept that card in my pants V longer than I wanted it to be there). Suddenly, no alcohol. THAT pulled! Then she skipped a beat. While we were watching “Batman The Animated Series :.” brought the Batman, she provided the alcohol. Somehow this combination has really put me. But now we know how the story ends, the part of it that I’m ashamed of it today is that I lied, bold, being a virgin. I told him I had lost a year before a girl named Lieslot whom I had met in Barcelona (I had met a girl named Lieslot when I was in Barcelona, while I was studying abroad, and had even decided to go after meeting in a club, but she stood me up). Now I lied because I knew she was not a virgin. I lied because I thought I had sexual removing this incredibly generous offer if he knew she was a virgin. I lied because I knew this was going to be one night a week if I was lucky, adventure. I would f * ck bounce. Period. So what was the risk? We had protection. We use it. To the sound of laughing maniacally Ras Al Ghul I “became a man.”
Months later we were still dating. It was just eating away at me (not because I had not told him all those months, had I?). But I saw a future with her so I came clean and confessed. Then CONFIRMED EVERYTHING made me feel like I had to LIE IN THE FIRST PLACE! She would not have gone through having sex with me. There would have been awesome night it was and that got me a second “date” and therefore result in what was a long-term relationship. So that puts me wondering, is it okay to lie if the lie is justified?
I mean there’s a stigma of being a virgin. Usually, it’s a great diversion to be a virgin after 20 People begin to wonder if there is something wrong with you. It’s not right, but it is the way it is. Also, there is this stupid idea that being first does someone responsible for their sexual health and history for the rest of the life of this person. What is stupid, but some think they are so important. Others find that you are a virgin, even when they are not. They do so because they are unhappy with the way the first game was. They want a do-over for one reason or another. Biologically though they have lost their virginity. However, if it was in an extreme case, an act of rape then this person should not be entitled to claim her virginity or will always be required to disclose that painful part of your life to someone you met in a bar ?
I think we have concluded the following: Is it OK to lie about being a virgin if you see no future beyond intercourse, and are using protection. It’s okay to lie about not being a virgin if her virginity was taken from you without your consent. Otherwise, you are rewriting history to suit their own needs and to stroke the ego of the potential partners? Is that the way it is?
You do not want to be rejected for being a virgin. You do not want to be embarrassed by that. You should not be ashamed of it, but we’re not talking about ideals, realities are talking about. Lying about your virginity is quite a risk. Like every lie leads risk. Once the lie revealed, as most are, that has endangered a confidence level. Lying can be poison. It is a temporary band aid to try to pretend you are helping when usually it’s just preventing a disaster in which you have to clean over time. BUT! Whether a lie is going to be acceptable on a case by case basis.
A small lie does not hurt me personally. It allowed the best relationship of my life to start. Just do not go to bed thinking that I was getting that relationship out of it. I lied for selfish reasons. As we all do when we say lies. Would I do it again? I would think not, but that does not really matter. All that matters are the choices we make at the time. I made the decision. Sometimes I regret. Sometimes I do not.
There are circumstances in which lying is not you or the other person when hurt. There are times when a lie will protect you. Now, I’m not supporting the lie. I’m just saying it’s impossible to give a general statement would never lie about something sometime. Every lie is not the same. We should not condemn someone for lying about her virginity until we have all the facts and factors in variables. Judge not lest ye be judged, right? Think about your day, your week, and try to count all the half-truths is what I said to friends, telemarketers, family or the mirror. So it’s okay to lie about their sexual history? If not at the expense of someone else, if you are not endangering physically to another person, whether it is protecting, if you are doing it without malicious intent-if all these “If” COINICIDE as it did for me at that fateful night, then yes. It’s okay to lie about their virginity.
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