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Our nature is to want to escape everything feels like it is limiting us. Obligations, expectations, “homework”.
But what about the things we want to do – do we like it?
Yes, of course.
Well, the same rules apply to love.
When you feel you have to love, you have to do things to make your partner happy, you have to be a certain way to get the love you want, then the feeling of true love begins to disintegrate and die. Sounds harsh, but true.
Love needs room to grow.
Like fire, love needs some breathing room. Suffocate and right burns.
The dies love under heavy constraints reason is because limits are against our own nature, which is growth. We can not fail to expand. We can not stop evolving. We can not stop changing.
The growth process can not be stopped within us, nor should it be. So when the boundaries, expectations and duties are placed in us by our partners and ourselves, automatically we want to break out of them.
Now, let’s be honest, we all do this. We expect them to act a certain way; we expect ourselves to act a certain way. We feel we should [fill in the blank]; Sorry we [fill in the blank]. I could go on and on about how this momentum to consistently limit appears in our lives. But why?
One word: fear.
We limit ourselves and others because we are afraid. Really scared.
We fear that if not strongly cling to our partners, will leave. We are afraid that if we show freely as we really are, people who want to love us, will not. We fear that if we do not get our needs met by certain people, let’s go without. We are afraid that love itself is limited, there is not enough for everyone.
We feel a ton of fear of losing love so try it snaps into place. Ironically, this survival mechanism turns against-the tight fence built around love drowns it in the end.
Love can not live like this! You can not box. It can not be dictated or forced or compulsory labor. If love is to grow and flourish, should be free.
So this creates a dilemma for us. What can we do to change this pattern?
Believe it or not, one thing we can all do to change this dilemma, and that is: we must give our love away.
Like, for free. For everyone. You can call free love. (What I can say, I am from San Francisco …)
Now, before their minds work too wild, let me clarify what I mean by that. Free love does not mean we drop our boundaries in relationships and we live in communes. I mean, go for it if you want, but that’s not what I’m talking about here.
What I am saying is that collectively we need a major shift in our perception about love. We have to understand that love can be anywhere they bring; and the more you bring, the more we have. (And the reverse is also true: the more you look limits in love, the more we are limited.)
Love does not reside with a special person! We are programmed to believe otherwise and this makes us terrified! We hold so tightly to these people that love suffocated. But when we recognize that the lives of love within us (no, it is subcontracted by them), then our fears about losing love will begin to change.
When I talk to practice free love, this is what I mean:
To love is freely be kind, generous, caring and compassionate to everyone you know.
There is free love when you smile at strangers when chatting with people online, when you look at the beautiful night sky.
Free love is to appreciate your partner for who they are and how they choose to appear in their relationship.
Free love is to recognize that love exists within you at all times; which is not an ever more abundant than ready to be shared with the world source.
Free love is the act of giving love away so you can keep for yourself; is the recognition that the more love, the more you receive is shared and feel.
Give love away helps you learn which can ultimately never be separated from love. And it is to know that their fears about losing love will begin to dissipate, and the need to limit and control the love in his life slowly fade.
When we subscribe to the belief system of that love is limited there is only so much to go around, then of course we’ll be terrified of losing it! But, when we connect with the truth, that love has no boundaries and resides within us, then we realize that in reality is nothing to fear.
Love is always here.
Free love may seem like an unattainable ideal, or it may seem too simple to be true. But I encourage you to try it for yourself and see what happens. I think we all agree that this world could use a little more love, right?
Give your love away and see how you feel in your heart expand and grow, as it’s supposed to be.